Beyond Cards and Flowers: The Gifts Our Mothers Gave Us — Anchoring Our Passions and Helping Us Take On Challenges
This year, I wanted Mother’s Day to be different.
Don’t get me wrong. There’s nothing I love more than getting cards, especially those with handwritten notes inside (like the one pictured above). I am framing one of those cards this year so I can keep the words above my desk as an everyday reminder of a treasured relationship. I also love bright bouquets that surround me with the colors of hope, especially when May turns gray and rainy, like it’s been here for a week. I love family dinners too, where everyone talks and talks and talks.
But this year I wanted something more lasting. So, on Sunday, when family and friends texted Happy Mother’s Day wishes, I texted them back with a question:
What is/are the most important gifts your mother gave to you?
Then I shared some of the gifts my mother gave me, like always encouraging me to be honest and say what I thought about how she was parenting me and my sister—as long as I said it nicely.
The reflections came back fast. We seem to know the life gifts from our mothers, though most said they don’t talk about them often and welcomed the chance to reflect, to share.
Anchoring Our Passions
For some, a mother passed along a passion—something they cared about:
My mother introduced me to the world of art and culture. She took me to museums at a very young age….and showed me the most beautiful works of art. I learned about cultures around the world and gained profound knowledge and appreciation for them all.
Love of literature.
For others, it wasn’t a specific interest but the lesson of being guided by curiosity:
Let curiosity and big questions fuel you.
For still others, it was nourishing the spark within:
The gift of loving me and supporting what I want to do in my life.
It’s a support that lasts, even after death:
I’m grateful for all of her words of encouragement and motivation she cheered me on with my whole life. I’m surprised I can still hear them in my mind’s ears now, even though I can’t call her on the phone for them.
And it’s spark that includes a positive approach to life and to others:
Zest for life.
Sense of humor.
She gave me great appreciation of a wicked—or any—sense of humor.
Kindness.
She told me to ALWAYS treat people with respect REGARDLESS of their circumstance because you just never know when they may have to reach down to help you.
Anchoring means providing a safe base with a push to explore:
She says, “I will always be there for you no matter what… the door is always open.”
She provided me with the haven of home as well as a loving push out the door into a wider world.
Helping Us Take On Challenges
Most of my family and friends wrote about how their mothers helped them learn to take on challenges—how to get up and go when the going gets tough.
Mothers are seen as role models:
I would probably say how to deal with challenges and obstacles in our lives. She was a single mom who worked in the garment factories and on weekends held bingo games at our apartment and kept a percentage of the pot. It taught me how to hustle for money as a teenager and adult.
A role model means sharing strengths, like kindness, but also showing that making mistakes is normal:
A quote from my mom that I will never forget: “There is no tutorial or class in school on being a mother… so always remember that I did everything the best I could & no one could ever teach a class on motherhood.
My mother always reminded me to cry and don’t stay there. Make yourself think. She reminded me that it ok to say sorry to your children. Parents are not always RIGHT. They too make mistakes. Apologizing (or crying) to / or in front of your children humanizes you.
A role model means listening to what’s wrong, not just what’s right:
The gift of being able to talk with my mother about anything.
And a role model means having trust in your children to handle tough times:
Fear means go.
Confidence to do anything.
My mother is an amazing role model. She gives me the gift of fortitude, teaching us what I call “prepositional” living. When faced with a challenge or goal, sometimes you have to go “around” it, see “above” it, work “through” or “around” it, or even sit “in” it until God shows you what to do❤️
The voices above include my own children as well as those who call me “Mama.”
So, I leave you with a question about the children in your life:
What lasting gifts would your children say you’ve given them?
Please share your responses below and maybe you’d like to ask your family and friends to share their responses too.
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